Why, Why, Why? 

Why do they put rear pockets on women’s jeans? Why does my brother do a comb-over? Why does our Government think it can pay off a credit card with a credit card? Why did God put all of that easy to get oil in the Middle East? Why does gray hair look awful on a woman but great on a man? Why is it that only bellies and ears get larger with a man’s age? Why did Osama bin Laden smile when he said that all Infidels must die? Why be a dirty old man when you can’t do anything about it? Why do women’s breasts succumb to gravity while their butts seem to defy gravity? Why doesn’t hair on your arm grow longer? Why are black people called African Americans but white people aren’t called English, French, German, Irish, Indian, Italian, et all Americans? Why does my Sunday Newspaper contain 90% ads and 10% news mostly gathered by outside sources? Why is my Newspaper known as a Newspaper? Why are the chairs called Lazy Boys when nothing but Lazy Men buy them? Why are they allowed to advertise “Free” with purchase? Why can only white people be racists? Why do Brides smile so broadly when they say, “I do” while Grooms have a vacant, almost innocent look on their faces? Why are prisons called “Correctional Facilities?” Why do I fall asleep watching television? Why is it called he Democratic Party? Why do small children and old men keep asking why? Why do Politicians swear an oath? Why does Dolly Parton seem so different? Why does Hip Hop produce a mind-numbing throb? Why is it called Social Security? Why are women generally referred to as “Ladies?” Why aren’t men generally referred to as “Gentlemen?” Why do all of the really smart people live in Hollywood? Why is it called investing? Why do little-old people buy really big automobiles? Why is it called the “Armed Services?” Why are most Lawyers rich? Why did they put the pointy ends on a football? Why do they build Churches so big? Why did the great scientist Albert Einstein believe in God? Why do they build local Schools so big? Why does beer make you fart but wine doesn’t? Why do new cars go 120 mph? Why do Thongs cost more than Mumus? Why do they pass the plate before rather than after the sermon? Why does my childhood house seem so small now? Why do I have an urge to say, “Have a Nice Day”, to strangers? Why does “thinking outside the box” only works for others? Why is it when I have a 50/50 chance of being right, I’m always wrong? Why does a long line (queue) move faster than a short line? Why does it require force to produce good change but bad change is spontaneous? Why do I become frightened when a woman says “Fine?” Why do men try to understand women? Why don’t women want to understand men?  Why are some people color-blind to the red color of stop sighs? Why do old people think Perry Como is the greatest singer of all time? Why won’t grocery carts go in a straight line? Why does too much sleep make you tired? Why do women wear bras? Why do men wear really big belt buckles? Why are gay people really not gay? Why does the phrase “Oh, By the Way” is cause for a cardiac arrest?