BLESSED MUSIC

Ah, Blessed Music


One day God was in an especially good mood. Perhaps the reason God was in such excellent sprits was due to some sort of transcendent encounter with another of his kind. You know, perhaps the Almighty’s luxurious disposition was due to a little afternoon delight with Miss or Mrs. Almostasbig (sorry Ladies). I’m just saying. But the important thing here is that regardless of the reason, Mr. Big had an attitude adjustment, and because of that attitude adjustment, Mankind has been forever blessed. Let me further explain. While God’s sprit was meandering aimlessly about the Universe, savoring the afterglow of his afternoon delight, he happened upon Earth and looked down. What he saw when he looked upon the Earth threatened to disturb his well-earned repose, and he was much troubled as a result. What He saw when he looked upon the Earth was grubby humans fighting in the dust for the attention of a particularly fetching maiden who was nonchalantly looking on with satisfying regard at the spirited goings on. And by so doing, the Maiden was contributing to the nasty mayhem as much as the actual competitors. God was appalled that something so important as a little afternoon delight should be decided by the ability to kick the butt of another for the privilege. And I have it on very good authority that He was none too pleased by the Maiden’s attitude either because it was obvious that she was enjoying being fought over while watching her brethren beat the crap out of each other during their combat in the dirt. After contemplating what he was seeing, the Almighty pointed his finger at the Earth and caused a mind expansion of the visceral humans. Where there had been nothing but pointless rage driven by pointed instincts before, a syncopated rhythm began to emerge. There was now measured beats pounding in the human’s brains in time to the liberated emotion of love (or lust), you make the call. Sweet notes soon began to merge in time with the newly discovered sensuous rhythms and the sweating Humans unclenched their fists and sheathed their teeth. The struggling humans began to make music to the object of their desire. Even though the Maiden still preferred a primordial struggle for her favors, the beauty of the music being beamed her way by the hapless combatants nevertheless moved her. She responded by taking both to her breast. God immediately saw that he had more work to do in Human relations but that was a job for another time and another place. When God saw that the newly found music was replacing the ugly competition with love and beauty, he was much pleased. In fact, He was so pleased that he rushed to be with Miss or Mrs. Almostasbig again in order to reprise the luxurious disposition that the original afternooner had begat. So there you have it. Man has been forever blessed by the beautiful music that God in his infinite wisdom caused with a pointing of his finger so that the sprit of Man could ascend to a higher plane of existence. It has been said that music is the most elegant expression of emotion ever endowed upon humans and I couldn’t agree more. We are blessed.