Rock In Tree
Lets say that your television set crapped out, and in desperation for something else to do, you meandered down to Brown County Indiana. Further, after stopping at the Dairy Queen for a “Death by Chocolate” blizzard, a local yokel directed you towards the very small town of Needmore Indiana (wouldn’t you just love to find out how the town of Needmore Indiana got it’s name?), because, he said, there was evidence that aliens from outer space had visited the area and proof of the outer space visit could be found in the Yellowwood State Forest. Well now, vegetating in front of a TV is one thing, but looking at a potential full-scale adventure is quite another, and so with eager anticipation radiating from your gullible big-city face, you ask the knowledgeable Hoosier for directions to where you could find the evidence for the out-of-this-world event. After much arm waving about this crook in the road and that turn-off next to the scum-covered pond, and, oh by the way, what out for ticks (don’t wear white clothing) you are directed to a country gravel road in the middle of no place, where, no doubt, the Owls make love to the Chickens in the dark of night. And so fortified with an ice-cold brewski, you put on your hiking boots and prepare to hike to a most unusual place, a place where few have even heard about and fewer still have even bothered to go. If you have a GPS, you’re in luck. Punch in the following coordinates, 39°, 12.204 North and 086°, 21.995 West. Take your time in getting to the GPS point because the forest is about the way it was before there was even a people called Hoosiers milling about in the area and so there is much to see as you walk in the privileged area. Perhaps you will notice that the flora and critters haven’t changed all that much since the time when the last continental Glacier ground to a halt on this very spot and before the stout Hoosiers began to chop down the old growth trees in an attempt to eke out a living in these parts. If you would have gotten to the designated GPS coordinates a couple of years ago, you would have found a mighty 80 foot Oak tree on the banks of Plum Creek (or Plum Crick as the indigenous folk call it), and if you looked up, you would have seen a 400 pound boulder wedged in a branch fork about 30 feet up. No doubt you have noticed that I mentioned that if you would have gotten to this place a couple of years ago, you would have seen what is pictured above, because a mighty storm racked the area a awhile back and felled the once mighty and storied tree with the terrestrial interloper still locked in it’s branches. The tree fell with the pictured stone still firmly wedged in its fork and it now lies on the forest floor instead of reaching for the sky with its strange burden trying to pull it down. But wait, there’s more. There are a number of trees that are still standing around in the same area that have big rocks in their branches. Here are the GPS coordinates for two more of them: N39, 14.986, W086, 18.492 and N39, 14.984, W086, 18.560. I have went to these places and seen the strange sight of boulders in the tree tops with my own eyes and have speculated, along with many others, as to how heavy rocks could find themselves, up in a tree. Many experts have speculated about how the rocks defied gravity and lodged themselves in the tops of trees, but in reality, no one knows. There are two prominent theories concerning this mystery and they are, (1) drunken IU students put the heavy stones in the trees by some unknown means and they did so because it seemed the thing to do at the time with the added benefit of confounding the local Hoosiers by doing so, (2) a UFO visited the area and put the stones up in the trees. I personally think that theory (1) is the most plausible theory because I have seen the many implausible and mysterious things that drunken IU students have done in the past. As far as the UFO theory, think about it. Why would a people smart enough to build space ships that can motor about the cosmos find it necessary to go to Needmore Indiana in order to place rocks in the tops of trees? Would they do so to confound Hoosiers? I think not, because there are many lesser things that confound Hoosiers, e.g., Hoosiers are still confounded about the change to daylight saving time, so placing heavy rocks up in the trees would not seem a worthy endeavor by an advanced race of greenies. But there is something else about these rocks in the trees. Rocks do not belong in the top of a tree; they belong on the ground with all of the other rocks. As I looked up at the trees this obvious truth became apparent because like the rocks stuck up in a tree, there are those among us that are also stuck in a place where we do not belong. Some call these out-of-place people Contrarians, because they always seem out of place with their contrary opinions and counter arguments. In these days and times, I feel more and more like a Rock in a Tree.
Lets say that your television set crapped out, and in desperation for something else to do, you meandered down to Brown County Indiana. Further, after stopping at the Dairy Queen for a “Death by Chocolate” blizzard, a local yokel directed you towards the very small town of Needmore Indiana (wouldn’t you just love to find out how the town of Needmore Indiana got it’s name?), because, he said, there was evidence that aliens from outer space had visited the area and proof of the outer space visit could be found in the Yellowwood State Forest. Well now, vegetating in front of a TV is one thing, but looking at a potential full-scale adventure is quite another, and so with eager anticipation radiating from your gullible big-city face, you ask the knowledgeable Hoosier for directions to where you could find the evidence for the out-of-this-world event. After much arm waving about this crook in the road and that turn-off next to the scum-covered pond, and, oh by the way, what out for ticks (don’t wear white clothing) you are directed to a country gravel road in the middle of no place, where, no doubt, the Owls make love to the Chickens in the dark of night. And so fortified with an ice-cold brewski, you put on your hiking boots and prepare to hike to a most unusual place, a place where few have even heard about and fewer still have even bothered to go. If you have a GPS, you’re in luck. Punch in the following coordinates, 39°, 12.204 North and 086°, 21.995 West. Take your time in getting to the GPS point because the forest is about the way it was before there was even a people called Hoosiers milling about in the area and so there is much to see as you walk in the privileged area. Perhaps you will notice that the flora and critters haven’t changed all that much since the time when the last continental Glacier ground to a halt on this very spot and before the stout Hoosiers began to chop down the old growth trees in an attempt to eke out a living in these parts. If you would have gotten to the designated GPS coordinates a couple of years ago, you would have found a mighty 80 foot Oak tree on the banks of Plum Creek (or Plum Crick as the indigenous folk call it), and if you looked up, you would have seen a 400 pound boulder wedged in a branch fork about 30 feet up. No doubt you have noticed that I mentioned that if you would have gotten to this place a couple of years ago, you would have seen what is pictured above, because a mighty storm racked the area a awhile back and felled the once mighty and storied tree with the terrestrial interloper still locked in it’s branches. The tree fell with the pictured stone still firmly wedged in its fork and it now lies on the forest floor instead of reaching for the sky with its strange burden trying to pull it down. But wait, there’s more. There are a number of trees that are still standing around in the same area that have big rocks in their branches. Here are the GPS coordinates for two more of them: N39, 14.986, W086, 18.492 and N39, 14.984, W086, 18.560. I have went to these places and seen the strange sight of boulders in the tree tops with my own eyes and have speculated, along with many others, as to how heavy rocks could find themselves, up in a tree. Many experts have speculated about how the rocks defied gravity and lodged themselves in the tops of trees, but in reality, no one knows. There are two prominent theories concerning this mystery and they are, (1) drunken IU students put the heavy stones in the trees by some unknown means and they did so because it seemed the thing to do at the time with the added benefit of confounding the local Hoosiers by doing so, (2) a UFO visited the area and put the stones up in the trees. I personally think that theory (1) is the most plausible theory because I have seen the many implausible and mysterious things that drunken IU students have done in the past. As far as the UFO theory, think about it. Why would a people smart enough to build space ships that can motor about the cosmos find it necessary to go to Needmore Indiana in order to place rocks in the tops of trees? Would they do so to confound Hoosiers? I think not, because there are many lesser things that confound Hoosiers, e.g., Hoosiers are still confounded about the change to daylight saving time, so placing heavy rocks up in the trees would not seem a worthy endeavor by an advanced race of greenies. But there is something else about these rocks in the trees. Rocks do not belong in the top of a tree; they belong on the ground with all of the other rocks. As I looked up at the trees this obvious truth became apparent because like the rocks stuck up in a tree, there are those among us that are also stuck in a place where we do not belong. Some call these out-of-place people Contrarians, because they always seem out of place with their contrary opinions and counter arguments. In these days and times, I feel more and more like a Rock in a Tree.
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